Saturday, January 25, 2014

Dating a Fraternity Boy - When You're Not in a Sorority

Dating can be tricky, hard, and difficult to manage. It can also be wonderful, exciting, and comforting as well. Luckily for me, Chris and I never had any problems as our relationship progressed. Three years later, going on four, we still have only had maybe two fights and never leave each other unhappy/annoyed/frustrated/angry. Though I didn't have any insecurities while we dated for the first two years, when he decided to join a fraternity (he was denied housing at his school and decided this was the best choice), I'll admit, I was a bit nervous. Thousands of thoughts ran through my mind: will he not have time to spend with me? Is he going to find a girl he likes more? Will he become an alcoholic? What even happens in a fraternity?!
                           {Foam Party Spring 2013}
At the end of the summer finished Chris had pledged to a house - Delta Tau Delta. I was extremely nervous but as I spent time with him in his new fraternity, I realized how much fun it was for the both of us. Like anything that changes, it took a little time to become adjusted to the idea that my boyfriend, who is far from the stereotypical fraternity guy (though a lot of guys in his house are as well), was now living in a fraternity with 60 other guys.

I should mention that Chris and I don't attend the same university. My school is much, much smaller, doesn't have a football team, and isn't in a big city. The attitudes are very different, and thus, my school doesn't have a Greek system. If my school did, however, have a Greek system, I definitely would have rushed! I would love to be in a sorority, but that's not an option for me.

From my experience, these are little tips I've gathered on how to have a great experience dating a cute fraternity boy and highlights of dating one. It can be fun and exciting - fraternity boys know how to keep you on your toes! P.S. This is really long!

You get to go on fun Grab-A-Dates (or Date Dashes, etc.)! The first GAD I went to was a professional soccer game. It was the first time Chris or I had ever been to one and it was a lot of fun! We rode down with a handful of other couples (or pairs of friends) to the field, which helped me to get know the other guys in the house. Fraternities are always having or hosting fun dates: mini indoor putt put golf, fun themed ones like "Risky Business", sporting events, etc. Going with someone just as a friend is always fun, too!
{"Risky Business" GAD Fall 2013 and Soccer GAD Fall 2012}

{A not so great picture (of us not matching! oops)
of the Winter Formal 2013}

Formals are pretty fun, too. One thing I miss about high school (I know, I'm that girl) is dressing up for dances! I love having the opportunity to wear a fun semi-formal/formal dress and dance with my dressed up date. It's so fun! Thankfully fraternities and sororities have formals, and that means more dances. The Delts (Delts is the nickname for Delta Tau Delta members/house) have two formals a year: one during the winter in a cute little town close by and one during the spring in Vancouver, BC! Last year Chris and I went to the winter formal and we had a blast! Going out to dinner and spending the evening dancing and hanging out with a bunch of fun people is a great way to spend time together. Formals are also really fun with a friend!

Get to know the guys who are also living in the house. Seriously, make friends! Whenever I visit Chris, we always hang out with the guys he's closest to. Be friendly, ask them how they're doing, start conversations, laugh at their jokes! There are plenty of guys in Delts that I consider to not only be Chris' friends/brothers but my friends, too. Getting to know the other guys will make things like formals, GADs, and just hanging out so much more fun! Plus, it's always nice to hear that you've made a good impression on the guys!
{That's a Monster in my hand, I promise! Summer 2013}

Have trust in your relationship and your boyfriend. Knowing that there will be many sorority girls at Chris' frat multiple times a week really freaked me out at first. I was scared a girl would flirt with him and he'd forget about me. Trust me, it can be scary! But what I needed to remember is how committed we were to each other.  I knew Chris wasn't a person to forget his commitments and promises, and that if a girl was talking to him, he would make it clear he wasn't interested and was taken. Sometimes it's easy to assume the worst, but knowing how strong your relationship is will reassure you of how dedicated he is to you, not a random girl.

Not every fraternity boy is the same, and not all party crazy. Chris isn't a huge partier. He spends a lot of time working at his internship in a lab, in class, and working on schoolwork. Of course he hangs out and parties every now and then like any college student, but he's not the only guy who doesn't prioritize partying over academics. A lot of guys I know who are in fraternities put in the time they need to in order to receive good grades and understand the material. Like I said before, it's easy to assume the worst and believe every fraternity guy is obsessed with drinking, having sex, doing drugs, and are living up to the stereotype portrayed in movies. That's not always true, and that's important to remember!

Hanging out there is fun, especially when you bring your friends! This past summer, I spent a lot of time down at the fraternity. They were constantly having smallish parties and fun barbecues for guys rushing and interested in pledging, and sometimes we'd go down and visit just to hang out with the summer live-ins! There were days Chris and I would go down, but others, I would invite my best girlfriends, and even my best friend Paul who was rushing! The barbecues were so fun and hanging out with everyone down there is always a blast.

{Chris and my bff Paul (who signed Delts!)
Summer 2013}

 {Summer 2013}

Sometimes you get cool fraternity gear. There are few things (in my opinion) more special than your boyfriend gifting you something with his letters on it. It's really nice knowing he wants you to represent him and his house! Maybe that's just me, but I find it very meaningful. Plus, the sweatshirts/shirts/tanks/etc. are always so cool!

{My Delta Tau Delta crewneck and Foam Party Spring 2013}

 Sometimes, really funny things happen. You gain a lot of fun stories to tell when you date a fraternity boy. Funny and strange things are always happening! Over the summer, one of the guys in Chris' house managed to get jalapeƱo in both of his eyes! He wasn't laughing at the time, but after, he couldn't not laugh with us. You meet a lot of awesome people, you laugh a lot, and you get to have the time of your life.

If you read this far, congrats! And thank you. I hope you enjoyed this post and that it helped ease anything relating to dating in the Greek system when you're not a part of it yourself.



  1. Woah, my school also doesn't have a greek system and my boyfriend who also isn't the typical fraternity guy rushed this year! His school is 10 hours away from mine though so I don't get to experience it like you do, but I just thought that was crazy. Great post!

    1. That's so random! That's awesome that you two are still so committed to each other despite the distance. And thank you!

  2. Daww this is so cute! I really like your blog :) Definitely going to keep reading it!


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